"WOW, are those real?" if I had a dime for every time I heard that one.
I remember one summer I worked for my cousin Vlad. He ran a small business (wait for it..) making equipment for flea circuses. (there it is!) We made infinitesimally small bicycles, monkey bars, merry-go-rounds, wagons, and my favorite - wheels of death; among other things. It wasn't a great business, but Vlad loved it. It was ironic that Vlad should be involved with such small things as he was afflicted with Marfan Syndrome and Acromegaly. He was about 8ft tall with an arm span of over 8ft. It was funny seeing him working on a bicycle that was smaller than the nail on his little finger!
Vlad had a strange hobby; he raised fainting goats. If you have never seen one of these, go to You Tube and search for them. They are great. When startled, they tense up, get all stiff legged and fall over. It is hilarious! Vlad was a hoot when he would rise to his full height and charge the goats with his tremendous arms flapping. The goats would all freeze and fall over. Vlad would just roar with laughter. He would spend hours when he was not working frightening the goats. He really loved them though. After frightening them, he would sit with them for hours rubbing their noses (they loved that) and talking baby talk to them. The goats loved him and he loved them.
I never got to actually see any of our equipment in use as Vlad hated fleas. He refused to attend any flea circus. I would have loved to see the small wheel of death being spun by tiny biting insects. Oh well...
Gotta go, time to feed the rhino..
Well I am writing this from the scene of one of my latest moments of glory - the Comfort Suites in Colonial Heights, Va. For those of you that do not take notes of all my achievements - that was the hotel where I was (drum roll please - ) Guest of the Day about a month ago. I drove up (and parked in the Platinum Elite member space - I might add) gathered my goodies and headed in. I thought of pulling a hat down over my head and putting my collar up to hide from the photographers and autograph fans, but I had no hat and the crowds just were not really a problem. I ambled to the front desk and it was the same girl! Surely here the recognition would reign! But as I approached her I glanced to the reader board - the same reader board that not so long ago was praising me as Guest of the Day! I staggered a bit under the realization that there was another name on MY sign! Then it hit me - Guest of the Day! I had lived my glorious 24 hours and now it was time to move on. OH WOE IS ME. I curse ...
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