JUST SOME POSTS

It is time for some humor. You folks put up with my "serious rants" long enough. These are REAL (or very clever fakes) headlines from around the world: Squirrel 'Detained' by German Police for Stalking Woman Police originally thought she was nuts.  Man Shoots Firework From Top of His Head, Dies Everyone knows you should hold them in your hands! Pittsburgh Man Charged With Robbing Bank With a Sex Toy Too many...Too easy...Insert your answer here (pun intended) Shark Killed in Traffic Crash Let this be a lesson to you - SHARKS CAN'T DRIVE! German Asparagus Pickers Mistaken for Armed Gang Sure, that's what they want us to think!! An expert was called in to confirm! Read the comment in the subtitle.  Who'da thunk it! They consulted with the bug expert I bet.  And finally: Now that is a tough interview - put the rookie on it! That's all for now. SMILE, WOULD YA!! Remember LIFE is a sex...

Before I get into the actual headlines with my famous witty commentary, here is a story that I find fascinating. I truly believe that one of our problems in America is we have too many people with too much free time. Now regardless of how you feel about the art below - this woman has TOO MUCH FREE TIME! (at least in my opinion) Woman Recreates 'Last Supper' With Lint Da Vinci's Masterpiece Has Seen Many Incarnations ROSCOMMON, Mich. -- A northern Michigan woman has put her own spin on Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper" by making a replica out of laundry lint. Laura Bell of Roscommon collected lint from her dryer and fashioned it into a 14-foot-long, 4-foot tall reproduction of the Italian Renaissance painter's masterpiece. Bell says she needed about 800 hours to do enough laundry to get the lint, and 200 hours to recreate the mural. She bought towels of the colors she wanted and laundered them separately to get the right shades of lint.     ...

Here are some more headlines and news stories: Two arrests at Liverpool airport after attempt to smuggle corpse onto flight Man, another wasted Saturday night! World's Oldest Leather Shoe Found Now if they could just find the other one. Finding the pair is always the rub. Former mayor receives two year sentence for underwear theft in England The dude that was wearing them says he does not want them back. Two ill after eating burgers laced with multi-purpose cleaner in Australia Someone should have told them that "multi-purpose" has limitations! Almighty set to 'guarantee' quality of mineral water in south Russia Is it to be a money back guarantee? They say the devil is in the details. Vt. police: Women had 77 cats living in 2 cars It was all good until they started making "tuna runs" every night. This one requires a bit more than the headline. Hang on... Maybe she just needed to feel wanted Police: Woman flags down cop, ask...

I have not done these for a while. Here is the REAL news... Police Use Taser on Fake Cougar May 18th (UPI) Warren, Mich Working their way up to the real animals I guess. Chance of Rain Today Depends on Where you Live May 29th  Buffalo, NY It takes training to do the weather. Man walks into a bar: grabs another man's beer, chokes bartender August 1 (AP)  Dayton, OH There is probably a priest and a duck that come in later. I didn't read the story. Pink-Clad Pooch Stolen from Gay Bar by Man with Britney Tatoo July 21st (UPI) Stanton, Pa It always starts with the tatoos. Woman Steal $650 Worth of Gum from Hospital Gift Shop June 10th (AP)  Columbus, OH What's that, three - four packs? and lastly... Grandpa, Pregnant Mom Tasered at Party July 20th (UPI)  Manassa, Va It's not a party 'til Grandpa gets tasered. It is now the next morning after originally posting these. This last one has kept me going all night. I have additional comments ...

Russian Prosecutors Investigate Parasailing Donkey Stunt Associated Press This is too easy! I have a million comments for this. You try. I'll just sit back and watch.

More wacky headlines. You can't convince me that journalism school is not worth it! Teenage girls often have babies fathered by men Hey, in movies sometimes they are fathered by aliens. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training with lots of homework, I would guess. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms this discovery only became possible after we found a guy that can determine the gender of mushrooms. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies chocolate chips and raisins are soooo overrated. Infertility unlikely to be passed on maybe the first headline isn't so dumb afterall. Work after Death there are some TOUGH bosses out there - no time off for death, you slacker! Child's death ruins couple's holiday hopefully it didn't rain too. Milk drinkers are turning to powder I think I've seen this movie. Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear I'm waiting for the ruling on the thong. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors I got b...

Maybe none of you like this stuff, but I think it is HILARIOUS!! Here we go: (all supposed to be real headlines) Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Those reporters don't miss a thing do they? Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use And then they head to the convenience store . Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Hey, he IS just a man! Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax I have explained before - NEVER give tools and/or implements to an animal! Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says Too many options here, talk among yourselves. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge They call him "Bunny" now. (think about it) Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years These are too easy!! Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter Had to be a K-Mart, I have done half that at a K-mart myself. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Then they pulled rabbits out of their hats. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Would Saddam have allowed ...

I knew my fan would be looking for another post. Since I am not "riled up" about anything and do not feel especially creative, here are some real headlines from the news: Alligator Accused of Starting Fire at Abandoned Pennsylvania School another reason never to let your pets play with matches! Outrage in France After Boy Locked in Bedroom for Seven Years six years, ehhh - seven, sacre bleu! ( unfortunately, this was a case of severe child abuse. NOT funny - I was commenting on the weird wording of the headline) Illegal Immigration Foe Fears Dead Goat Bearing Gang Sign Is Death Threat I was not even aware goats ran in gangs! I guess the guy ran with a baaaaad crowd . I wonder if the alligator was involved? Parrot Tattles on Cheating Lover Bird love gone bad? Chiropractor Treats Patients Using Time Travel Was he using time travel to treat them or was he helping them recover from time travel? (I really wanted to know this, but could not find the actual article) Nake...