HEADLINES, said to be REAL! With my comments -
Woman Missing Since She Got LostSun-Times Media Wire
It always has to start somewhere! (alternatively) Of course, prior to that, no one was looking!
Man charged with exposure at Northgate Mall after showing 'glistening white buttocks'timesfreepress.com
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
Drunk parrots acting up and falling out of the sky in Austrailia (again)metro.co.uk
cracker heads (or alternatively) Crackers are a gateway drug
Man learns life lesson in naked fight with javelinasThe Arizona Republic
Some of lifes best lessons may be learned naked. (FYI, a javelina is sort of a wild pig-like critter)
Cops: Woman had 81 lbs of junk in her trunkWWL Radio / freerupublic.com
I am sure she is aware of it, no need to point it out! (alernatively) She's just big boned!
Rogue Massachusetts turkey, known for attacking mail truck. may or may not belong to Ethel Kennedyblog.masslive.com
She has been dealing with "turkeys" in the news for decades!
Strip club customer blames robbery on nerdsindystar.com
Those roving gangs of nerds are getting more and more out of control!
China Bans Time TravelNews Corp
From now or to now?