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Headlines

I have not done these in a while. (if you are interested, there are three or four others back a few years)
HEADLINES, said to be REAL! With my comments -

Woman Missing Since She Got Lost

Sun-Times Media Wire

It always has to start somewhere!  (alternatively) Of course, prior to that, no one was looking!


Man charged with exposure at Northgate Mall after showing 'glistening white buttocks'

timesfreepress.com

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?


Drunk parrots acting up and falling out of the sky in Austrailia (again)

metro.co.uk

cracker heads  (or alternatively)  Crackers are a gateway drug

 

Man learns life lesson in naked fight with javelinas

The Arizona Republic

Some of lifes best lessons may be learned naked. (FYI, a javelina is sort of a wild pig-like critter)


Cops: Woman had 81 lbs of junk in her trunk

WWL Radio / freerupublic.com

I am sure she is aware of it, no need to point it out! (alernatively) She's just big boned!


Rogue Massachusetts turkey, known for attacking mail truck. may or may not belong to Ethel Kennedy

blog.masslive.com

She has been dealing with "turkeys" in the news for decades!

 

Strip club customer blames robbery on nerds

indystar.com

Those roving gangs of nerds are getting more and more out of control!

China Bans Time Travel

News Corp

From now or to now?

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