Skip to main content

Questions

There are two blogs that I have been thinking of writing for a while. This is one of them. What do you say to a person you love and have lived with for over three decades when they turn to you and say with tears in their eyes, "I don't want to die"? What do you do when you have kids and family members that just ask "How is she doing?" and just want to hear "Fine", or "About the same"; even if it is not true? How do you make people understand that you are living with it every day and that it is not going away and that it is hard? Hard for those of us around her, but even harder for her. How can you watch your wife of thirty-four plus years not able to get out of bed or up a single step unassisted when you still see her as the eighteen year old you married? How do you answer a 53 year old that asks you if she will see her daughter, a junior, graduate from high school? How do you get your kids to get off their asses and recognize their mother needs them? (with one exception, Steph) Not later, NOW! How do you respond to a social security ruling that denies disability so your insurance is going up to more than your rent every month? How do you deal with insurance and government people that are on a timetable that is slower than a glacier? What do you do to help when you have seen, in eleven months, a progression from walking slowly, to walking with a cane, to a rollator/walker sometimes - cane sometimes, to a rollator / walker all the time, to a wheelchair sometimes? How do you convince someone to go out when every movement is a tremendous effort and one of your biggest fears is seeing someone you know or used to work with? What do you do when you are a control freak and things are out of your control, no matter how hard you try? I do NOT want any sympathy for me. I am not going to say I am not human. I am not going to say this was not a release for me. But comments on my condition are irrelevant. Sympathy, compassion, concern, and love for my wife is demanded. She needs all of you. Questions need answering. I don't have the answers.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Our Guv'ment

Section 8 - Powers of Congress The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises , to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States; To borrow money on the credit of the United States; To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes; To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States; To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures; To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States; To establish Post Offices and Post Roads ; To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings a...
2 comments
Read more

Who's got gas?

Here is another thing that is bothering me - I am tired of people whining about gas prices. Gas was never free!! When people whine about "$40 to fill my tank" they forget that even at $2 a gallon it was $25 or so to fill it!! Here are some numbers: The average car in the U.S. is driven about 12,000 miles a year. If you get 20 MPG (hey if you are driving a Hummer, getting 10, I don't want to hear it!) That is 600 gallons of gas a year. Most people would be estatic if gas was at $2 a gallon again -SO, that is about $600 a year (for the extra $1 a gallon) or $11.54 a week. Now I know there are a LOT of folks that were struggling to pay the $2, but the average person I know was not. Here is another way to look at it. How many Starbuck's coffees or lattes have you had lately at $$37.33 a gallon? ($3.50 for a 12 oz one) How about a beer on an airplane at $53.33 a gallon? ($5 per) Then there is bottled water at $10.66 a gallon. ($1 a 12oz bottle -and it can be MUCH higher...
1 comment
Read more

A Three Hour Tour, or, Perchance to drown

Imagine you and your spouse, or significant other, are on a nice boat ride called life. You are on this inconceivably large boat in a sea of unimaginable size on a trip of indeterminate length. Once in a while, you go through some beautiful. almost indescribable days where birds sing, wonderful angelic music accompanies you in your daily activities , and everything you want is there before you. Then there are the dark and stormy days where all you can do is hold on to the rail and upchuck your lunch into the water. Most of the days, however, are just a boat ride. One day your spouse falls overboard, fully clothed, and for no apparent reason. You quickly toss them a line, and say"hold on, I'll get you out!" There is no reason to panic, people fall into the water all the time. Plus, they are a fairly strong swimmer, we will get them out. So, you start pulling on the rope. After pulling and pulling you notice they are not any closer to the boat. You decide you need help....
1 comment
Read more