Skip to main content

It's official - There's no business like show business

"How about three of dem links?" That question popped up at every meal. My formative years were spent on the road. We followed the pageant trail. Up north in the winter months - Ice Queen, Snow Princess, Jill Frost, etc. The late summer and early fall ones were my favorites though; Corn Queen, Harvest Queen, even Kumquat Cutie. We didn't have much luck in the pageants until my Uncle Francis adopted the diminutive Lithuanian girl - Ausra (means "dawn" in Lithuanian). Ausra was a beauty, alabaster skin, deep blue eyes, golden hair. If it hadn't been for the growth on her right ankle, she could have been a serious contender for Ms. America or a "real" pageant. She carried herself regally even though she had to allow about six extra inches on her right for what we all just called the "lump". Did you ever wonder what life would be like if you never wondered what life would be like? I had another uncle that was an owner of a salt mine. Yes, a salt mine. Even if he was working a mine that the Morton company had abandoned twenty years before for a mineral that was getting pennies on the pound, he was proud to be the owner of a mine. He had a group of midgets that worked the mine because it had been abandoned not just for lack of production, but due to a collapse of most of the main shafts. The only way in and out was through the ventilation shafts. Little people were the best way to do that. He hired every midget and dwarf in the state at one point, or so it seemed. I never worked in the mines, but I did do payroll for him one summer. What a trip! How can you ever get where you are going if you don't know where you are? One other memory I have from childhood was of the circus. I had a distant cousin that was the bearded lady in the sideshow. She got me free cotton candy. I remember the elephant dung, it was as big as some of the little people that worked the salt mines! Feeding the big cats was cool as well. I used to watch as they threw in whole chickens and hams. The cats would gobble those babies up like they were milk duds. Well, more to come later. I have chickens to feed.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our Guv'ment

Section 8 - Powers of Congress The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises , to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States; To borrow money on the credit of the United States; To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes; To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States; To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures; To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States; To establish Post Offices and Post Roads ; To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings a...

Who's got gas?

Here is another thing that is bothering me - I am tired of people whining about gas prices. Gas was never free!! When people whine about "$40 to fill my tank" they forget that even at $2 a gallon it was $25 or so to fill it!! Here are some numbers: The average car in the U.S. is driven about 12,000 miles a year. If you get 20 MPG (hey if you are driving a Hummer, getting 10, I don't want to hear it!) That is 600 gallons of gas a year. Most people would be estatic if gas was at $2 a gallon again -SO, that is about $600 a year (for the extra $1 a gallon) or $11.54 a week. Now I know there are a LOT of folks that were struggling to pay the $2, but the average person I know was not. Here is another way to look at it. How many Starbuck's coffees or lattes have you had lately at $$37.33 a gallon? ($3.50 for a 12 oz one) How about a beer on an airplane at $53.33 a gallon? ($5 per) Then there is bottled water at $10.66 a gallon. ($1 a 12oz bottle -and it can be MUCH higher...

A Three Hour Tour, or, Perchance to drown

Imagine you and your spouse, or significant other, are on a nice boat ride called life. You are on this inconceivably large boat in a sea of unimaginable size on a trip of indeterminate length. Once in a while, you go through some beautiful. almost indescribable days where birds sing, wonderful angelic music accompanies you in your daily activities , and everything you want is there before you. Then there are the dark and stormy days where all you can do is hold on to the rail and upchuck your lunch into the water. Most of the days, however, are just a boat ride. One day your spouse falls overboard, fully clothed, and for no apparent reason. You quickly toss them a line, and say"hold on, I'll get you out!" There is no reason to panic, people fall into the water all the time. Plus, they are a fairly strong swimmer, we will get them out. So, you start pulling on the rope. After pulling and pulling you notice they are not any closer to the boat. You decide you need help....