MORE HEADLINES - these are REAL news stories: (my editorial comments in italics)
Mass. lake with 45-letter name has spelling errors (shocking, huh?)
WEBSTER, Mass. – Officials have agreed to correct spelling errors in road signs pointing to a central Massachusetts lake with a 45-letter name. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Webster has one of the world's longest place names. It's been spelled many different ways over the years. Some locals have given up and simply call it Lake Webster.
What you talkin' 'bout Willis?
Miss. woman gets shot in head, but makes tea
I actually read this one over the weekend. She was shot through the head by her husband. Then she met the officer at the door and offered him tea.
Man allegedly steals forklift and hits sign, pole
Here is the REAL story - Authorities said after the vehicle ran out of gas, the man sought treatment at a local hospital for alcohol and drug intoxication.... Shocked you, huh?
Fake waiter accepted money from patrons
I'm pretty sure I have been seated at this guy's station before.
Man fends off polar bear with a shovel
That is why one never gives garden tools to wild animals!
Please Do Not Expose Your Genitals To The Comcast Guy
I think this is great life advice. I wonder if it was in the self-help section?
Pink elephant spotted in Botswana
This is news? Pink elephants are being seen in many places. Ask the guy driving the forklift!
Missouri town re-elects deceased mayor
I think a lot of our elected officials would do less harm if deceased.
Stay tuned for more....
Here is another thing that is bothering me - I am tired of people whining about gas prices. Gas was never free!! When people whine about "$40 to fill my tank" they forget that even at $2 a gallon it was $25 or so to fill it!! Here are some numbers: The average car in the U.S. is driven about 12,000 miles a year. If you get 20 MPG (hey if you are driving a Hummer, getting 10, I don't want to hear it!) That is 600 gallons of gas a year. Most people would be estatic if gas was at $2 a gallon again -SO, that is about $600 a year (for the extra $1 a gallon) or $11.54 a week. Now I know there are a LOT of folks that were struggling to pay the $2, but the average person I know was not. Here is another way to look at it. How many Starbuck's coffees or lattes have you had lately at $$37.33 a gallon? ($3.50 for a 12 oz one) How about a beer on an airplane at $53.33 a gallon? ($5 per) Then there is bottled water at $10.66 a gallon. ($1 a 12oz bottle -and it can be MUCH higher
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