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MORE HEADLINES - these are REAL news stories: (my editorial comments in italics) Mass. lake with 45-letter name has spelling errors (shocking, huh?) WEBSTER, Mass. – Officials have agreed to correct spelling errors in road signs pointing to a central Massachusetts lake with a 45-letter name. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Webster has one of the world's longest place names. It's been spelled many different ways over the years. Some locals have given up and simply call it Lake Webster. What you talkin' 'bout Willis? Miss. woman gets shot in head, but makes tea I actually read this one over the weekend. She was shot through the head by her husband. Then she met the officer at the door and offered him tea. Man allegedly steals forklift and hits sign, pole Here is the REAL story - Authorities said after the vehicle ran out of gas, the man sought treatment at a local hospital for alcohol and drug intoxication.... Shocked you, huh? Fake waiter accepted money from patrons I'm pretty sure I have been seated at this guy's station before. Man fends off polar bear with a shovel That is why one never gives garden tools to wild animals! Please Do Not Expose Your Genitals To The Comcast Guy I think this is great life advice. I wonder if it was in the self-help section? Pink elephant spotted in Botswana This is news? Pink elephants are being seen in many places. Ask the guy driving the forklift! Missouri town re-elects deceased mayor I think a lot of our elected officials would do less harm if deceased. Stay tuned for more....