Dictionary for our times

In keeping with the times and in accordance with the continuous comments about our "immigration problem" when discussing illegal aliens; the following definitions are now in effect:

1) breaking and entering will now be called a "visitation problem"
2) robbery will be called an "ownership problem"
3) car theft will be called a "travel problem"
4) embezzlement will be called a "borrowing problem"
5) murder will be called a "death problem"

and my all time oldie-but-goodie:

Bank robbery will be called a "withdrawal problem"

They're ILLEGAL people....

Geez!!

Comments

Who's got gas?

Here is another thing that is bothering me - I am tired of people whining about gas prices. Gas was never free!! When people whine about "$40 to fill my tank" they forget that even at $2 a gallon it was $25 or so to fill it!! Here are some numbers: The average car in the U.S. is driven about 12,000 miles a year. If you get 20 MPG (hey if you are driving a Hummer, getting 10, I don't want to hear it!) That is 600 gallons of gas a year. Most people would be estatic if gas was at $2 a gallon again -SO, that is about $600 a year (for the extra $1 a gallon) or $11.54 a week. Now I know there are a LOT of folks that were struggling to pay the $2, but the average person I know was not. Here is another way to look at it. How many Starbuck's coffees or lattes have you had lately at $$37.33 a gallon? ($3.50 for a 12 oz one) How about a beer on an airplane at $53.33 a gallon? ($5 per) Then there is bottled water at $10.66 a gallon. ($1 a 12oz bottle -and it can be MUCH higher...

Our Guv'ment

Section 8 - Powers of Congress The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises , to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States; To borrow money on the credit of the United States; To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes; To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States; To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures; To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States; To establish Post Offices and Post Roads ; To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings a...

Fame is Fleeting and some bug stuff

Well I am writing this from the scene of one of my latest moments of glory - the Comfort Suites in Colonial Heights, Va. For those of you that do not take notes of all my achievements - that was the hotel where I was (drum roll please - ) Guest of the Day about a month ago. I drove up (and parked in the Platinum Elite member space - I might add) gathered my goodies and headed in. I thought of pulling a hat down over my head and putting my collar up to hide from the photographers and autograph fans, but I had no hat and the crowds just were not really a problem. I ambled to the front desk and it was the same girl! Surely here the recognition would reign! But as I approached her I glanced to the reader board - the same reader board that not so long ago was praising me as Guest of the Day! I staggered a bit under the realization that there was another name on MY sign! Then it hit me - Guest of the Day! I had lived my glorious 24 hours and now it was time to move on. OH WOE IS ME. I curse ...

JUST SOME POSTS

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