Skip to main content

Good Old Days

One of the real issues we have to realize and account for as humans is that no matter how empathetic, sympathetic, understanding, outstanding, sharing, caring, or loving we are we can only evaluate someone else's circumstances and actions from one perspective; our own.

Now, there are people that are much better at this than others. Ultimately however, the filter of our own biases, prejudices, and experiences limit mere mortals on how much of someone else's issues we can relate to. (see the previous post on Cognitive Bias for a similar thought from a slightly different perspective)

We never know exactly what someone we meet or see is going through or has gone through. Even if you know them intimately, unless you have lived with them and experienced their life as yours (which is almost impossible), you would have no idea. I do not want to come off as "holier than thou", but I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Now, those that know me - especially from earlier in my life - knows that I have not been a poster child for patience. My wife's disease required me to work on and develop some. Things that used to really upset me now just roll off my back. I try to see things from others' perspective. I know that everyone can have a bad day. The cashier that was just short with you may have had a family member die in the past few days and not be able to take off work. The server that is less than efficient may have walked to work because their car broke down and they have no idea what they are going to do. The same can be said for other peoples' evaluation of you and your attitude. They have no idea that you just got horrible news or that a family member is in hospice. Just try to remember this when you are interacting with someone.

My thought when I first thought of this post was this line: One day, somewhere, someone, will remember this time as their "Good Old Days"! The same can be said in reverse. Someone is going to remember this time as Hell on Earth. Your understanding and acceptance along with a smile might make a difference.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts and Ideas for 2024

 If you are truly pressed for time, just read the bold, italicized, and underlined sentences. That won't take you long at all! Another year has passed and if you are reading this, a new one is getting ready to start (or has started) for you. New Year’s celebrations are a time for reflection on what has happened and also a chance to start anew. New Year’s resolutions are a manifestation of this. Weight loss plans, gym proprietors, exercise equipment makers, and others know this. If you have watched any TV, gone online, or read any magazines or newspapers you know that the people that make their living selling and signing people up for those things are hitting it hard. We like new beginnings and the chance to reset and set new goals. Losing weight, stopping smoking, cut back or stopping drinking, and other things a lot of folks see as improvement are at the forefront of our collective thoughts and efforts this time of year. Although not a real advocate of New Year’s resolutions, I

A Serious One -

OK, the second in one day - something is going on! I wanted to do a blog on perspective. Life and our evaluation of it is based a LOT on perspective. I got a great example of this yesterday. My wife is disabled!! Officially. Perspective - - - On face value, that would not appear to be a good thing. Disability is not to be cheered. Ah, official disability is (or can be). My seventeen year old was here yesterday when my wife opened the letter and we were cheering for disability. She made a comment that is was weird that we were happy with Mom being disabled. I explained we weren't, but... My wife's condition is affected not one bit by what the doctors, bureaucrats, or anyone else labels it. She is no more nor no less disabled or ill than prior to getting the letter. However, getting the letter signifies official legal acceptance of her disability. That will hopefully lead to a lessening of the financial burdens of her condition and let us deal exclusively with the physical

Even more Questions

You may get this more if you read (or re-read) these older posts: "A Serious One" from 4/6/08 "Alphabet diseases" from 11/13/07 and "Questions" from 1/20/08 I am still trying to get answers to the Questions asked in the post above. I have not found any that are worthy of printing. I have come up with more questions: How does one handle seeing the continual decline of their spouse and not being able to do a thing about it? How do you take the inability of your 53 year old wife to get out of bed, or in and out of the shower unaided? How do you answer questions that beg not to be asked, like: will I see Bailey (our daughter, a rising senior)graduate; will Hannah (our granddaughter - almost 3) remember me; or will I see Landon (or grandson - 6 months) walk? How do you comfort your bride of 35+ years when she looks at you with tears streaming down her face? Most of all, how do you offer support and help when you are so damn mad at the world and the situa