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Showing posts from April, 2009

Hey buddy, wanna buy a bridge?

Over the past months I have noticed a real increase in the insurance commercials that tell me and all who are listening about the money I could be, should be, would be saving if I switched to Allstate, Geico , Progressive, State Farm, 21st Century, et al . This got me to thinking (as only I can and do, evidently) what idiot is paying these high prices any more? Where is he or she? I picture Rog, the hermit, living in a mud hut in the middle of the desert. No TV or radio, just a 1958 pickup with 286,000 miles on it for running into town every six months for mouthwash and toothpicks. He has no idea that the set of eyes he feels on the back of his neck at those weird times is the money he could be saving.... He is still paying $352, or $602, or $424 too much because he does not know better. WE, on the other hand are well educated as to the fact that Progressive will tell us who is the cheapest; or that Dennis Haysbert would use his sonorous voice to assure him that Allstate would sav...

Excuse me, are you a rock star?

For those of you that have been reading along, you know I have occasionally dropped in thoughts and comments on my wife's illness. Here is another. (hey, I gave you three or four "fluff" pieces in a row!!) Spasmodic Torticollis . Great name for a rock band, yes? Cervical Dystonia . Also a good one. Both sound like a lead-in for a heavy metal band with big hair. Well, we have entered the rock band era with my wife's disease. And now, the coliseum is proud to present.......Cervical Dystonia!!! These two heavy metal names are both monikers of a disease of which my wife now is suffering. As a side effect of her primary illness, we get to sample an entire array of diseases - as symptoms of multiple system atrophy. Cervical Dystonia is (in layman's terms - I am just now learning about this, over the last few hours) where the muscles of the neck spasm and/or contract on their own. It is annoying and according to my wife (and common sense) very uncomfortable to painf...

How much do you weigh again?

If this were not true, it might be funny. Be afraid, be VERY afraid. I don't even know what to say about this one.... Do Fat People Cause Global Warming? Tuesday, April 21, 2009 AP The rising number of fat people was blamed for global warming on Monday. Scientists warned that the increase in big eaters means more food production — a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet. Overweight people are also more likely to drive, adding to environmental damage. Dr. Phil Edwards, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: "Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler." Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a ton more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one. It means an extra billion tons of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organization estimates of overweight people. The scientists say providing extra grub for them to guzzle adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world...

More Headlines

MORE HEADLINES - these are REAL news stories: (my editorial comments in italics) Mass. lake with 45-letter name has spelling errors (shocking, huh?) WEBSTER, Mass. – Officials have agreed to correct spelling errors in road signs pointing to a central Massachusetts lake with a 45-letter name. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Webster has one of the world's longest place names. It's been spelled many different ways over the years. Some locals have given up and simply call it Lake Webster. What you talkin ' 'bout Willis? Miss. woman gets shot in head, but makes tea I actually read this one over the weekend. She was shot through the head by her husband. Then she met the officer at the door and offered him tea. Man allegedly steals forklift and hits sign, pole Here is the REAL story - Authorities said after the vehicle ran out of gas, the man sought treatment at a local hospital for alcohol and drug intoxication.... Shocked you, huh? Fake w...

The Sky is Falling! But don't worry, we will pay you for it.

This is taken from a news story on congressional activities. If this doesn't scare you silly, you are brain dead!! An under-the-radar provision in a House climate bill would give plaintiffs who claim to be victims of global warming a way to sue the federal government or businesses, according to a report Friday in The Washington Times. The Times reported that Democratic Reps. Henry Waxman of California and Edward Markey of Massachusetts added it into a bill they authored. The provision, which was just released, reportedly would set grounds for plaintiffs who has "suffered" or expect to suffer "harm" attributable at least in part to government inaction. The provision defines "harm" as "any effect of air pollution (including climate change)," according to the Times. Plaintiffs could seek up to $75,000 in damages a year from the government, with $1.5 million being the maximum total payout. The Times reported that Waxman is trying to accelera...